When One Glass Becomes Two

Last week, a client told me something that stopped me in my tracks. “I used to have one glass of wine with dinner,” she said. “Now I realize I’m finishing the bottle most nights, and I’m not even sure when that started happening.”

She’s not alone. In my work with women over 60, I keep hearing variations of the same story. The glass that used to mark the end of the day has quietly multiplied. The social drink that helped us feel relaxed at parties has become the thing we need just to show up.

And here’s what breaks my heart: so many of us are carrying shame about this, as if we’re somehow failing at something we should have figured out by now.

The truth is, there are real reasons this happens.

When the kids are grown and the house feels too quiet, that glass of wine becomes company. When we’re watching our parents age or worrying about money that needs to stretch further than it used to, alcohol feels like the fastest way to turn down the volume on anxiety. Sometimes it’s just habit—we’ve been reaching for that bottle at 5 PM for so many years, our hands move without thinking.

But here’s what I’ve learned, both from my own experience and from walking alongside so many women: alcohol promises relief but rarely delivers it. It amplifies the very feelings we’re trying to escape—the loneliness, the worry, the sense that something is missing. And our bodies, at this stage of life, feel every sip differently than they used to.

What if we tried something different?

Not because there’s anything wrong with us, but because we deserve to feel genuinely better.

Maybe it starts with honoring the ritual instead of just removing it. That beautiful wine glass can hold sparkling water with a slice of lemon. That moment of transition between day and evening can become a cup of tea on the porch, watching the light change.

Maybe it means reaching toward connection instead of away from feeling. Texting a friend instead of opening the bottle. Joining something—a book club, a walking group, an online community where other women are asking the same questions you are.

Maybe it looks like getting curious about what you’re actually feeling in that moment when your hand reaches for the cork. Are you tired? Lonely? Overwhelmed? What if, instead of numbing those feelings, you let them tell you what you need?

Maybe it’s taking a week off alcohol, just to see. Not forever, not as punishment, but as information. How do you sleep? How do you wake up? What do you notice about your energy, your mood, your clarity?

You’re not broken if you’re drinking more than you used to. You’re not failing if this feels harder than it should.

You’re a woman who has lived through decades of caring for everyone else, and now you’re in a new chapter where you get to care for yourself differently. That glass of wine might have served a purpose for a while, but it doesn’t have to define what comes next.

When you’re ready—not because anyone else says you should be, but because something in you knows it’s time—there are other ways to mark the end of the day. Other ways to find ease. Other ways to feel connected and calm and fully yourself.

The woman you’re becoming deserves all of that.

Warmly,

Molly A. Summers, P.C.C.
Life Coach & Author

Thank you for spending this time with me inside The Attachment Style Journal.
I hope these words remind you that your attachment style is not your whole story — and you don’t have to navigate change alone.

If you’d like more gentle support, my virtual coaching and self-guided book are here for you anytime.

Schedule your free call or explore my books at coachingwithmollysummers.com.