The current political climate in the U.S. isn’t just showing up in headlines—it’s showing up at
the dinner table, in family group texts, and during once-welcomed reunions. For many, it’s no
longer just about differing opinions; it’s about deep, emotional rifts that feel personal and
painful.
And while we expect to have differences in the world, it can be especially hard when those
differences are with the people we’ve grown up with or once leaned on during life’s hardest
moments.
This blog isn’t about debating who’s right or wrong. It’s about something more human: how to
maintain a sense of self while staying grounded in relationships that now feel charged or fragile.
Why It Hurts So Much
When political values feel tied to core beliefs about human rights, justice, or safety, it can feel
deeply personal when someone you love seems to support something that contradicts what you
stand for. You might question:
How can I respect them when their views feel harmful?
Am I betraying myself by staying silent?
Do I have to cut ties to protect my peace?
These are real and difficult questions—especially for those with an anxious attachment style.
When harmony is disrupted, it can trigger old wounds around rejection, abandonment, or the fear
of being misunderstood.
While we can’t change other people’s beliefs, we can choose how we show up. Here are a few
ways to stay emotionally steady:
1. Lead with curiosity—when it’s safe and useful.
Sometimes, asking “Can you tell me more about what led you to that view?” can open
space for understanding. But not always. If your curiosity is met with defensiveness,
disrespect, or escalation, you don’t need to keep engaging. Curiosity is a tool, not an
obligation.
2. Know when to change the subject.
If a conversation is headed toward conflict, or you feel your nervous system tightening,
it’s okay to redirect. You might say, “I’d rather talk about something lighter right now,” or
“Let’s enjoy the evening and skip politics.” This isn’t avoidance—it’s emotional wisdom.
3. Set time and topic boundaries.
You’re allowed to say, “Let’s keep politics off the table tonight so we can just enjoy being
together.” Boundaries aren’t rejection—they’re clarity.
4. Validate your own feelings. You don’t have to downplay your discomfort just to keep the peace. It’s okay to feel grief,
anger, or sadness about the distance politics can create.
5. Decide where your line is.
There’s a difference between disagreeing and feeling unsafe. If a relative’s views or
behavior crosses into toxic territory, it’s okay to take space or limit contact.
6. Stay rooted in your values.
You can be kind and firm. You can hold compassion and protect your energy. You can
love someone and still acknowledge harm.
Give Yourself Permission
It’s easy to feel pressure to be the bridge, the peacemaker, or the one who “lets things go.” But
here’s the truth: you don’t have to carry the emotional weight for everyone.
Family relationships are complex, and sometimes the most loving thing you can do—for yourself
and for others—is to step back, speak clearly, or stay quiet in the moments that protect your
peace.
We’re all trying to navigate this changing world, and it’s okay to do so imperfectly.
If you’ve found yourself dreading the next family gathering or feeling like your heart breaks a
little every time a loved one says something that feels out of alignment, know this: you’re not
alone. Many are walking this same tightrope.
You don’t have to have all the answers—but you do have the right to honor your own.
Warmly,
Molly A. Summers, P.C.C.
Life Coach & Author
💛 Thank you for spending this time with me inside The Attachment Style Journal.
I hope these words remind you that your attachment style is not your whole story — and you don’t have to navigate change alone.
If you’d like more gentle support, my virtual coaching and self-guided book are here for you anytime.
📌 Schedule your free call or explore my books at coachingwithmollysummers.com.
Coaching with Molly Summers 
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