By Molly Summers
There’s something about wedding season that can stir up many emotions. If you’ve recently gone through a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, being a guest at someone else’s “happily ever after” can feel unexpectedly painful.
Especially for those with an anxious attachment style, the emotions that arise aren’t always neat or easy to manage. Weddings, with all their romantic symbolism and hopeful declarations, can feel like a spotlight on everything we’ve lost — or never had.
You might find yourself sitting at the reception table, forcing a smile while inside, you’re unraveling.
You feel…
- Jealousy, even if you don’t want to.
- Guilt for feeling jealous, because you truly want to be supportive.
- Anger that your past partner didn’t show up for the life you dreamed of building together.
- Shame for second-guessing yourself.
- And sometimes, even a subtle judgment of the couple, thinking, They have no idea what real commitment takes.
It’s okay if you’ve felt any — or all — of this.
It doesn’t mean you’re bitter or unkind. It means you’re human… and healing.
Why Weddings Can Be Especially Hard with Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment thrives on connection and reassurance.
So when a relationship ends, it’s not just the person we miss — it’s the sense of emotional security, the belief in a future, the identity we built with another.
At a wedding, all of that gets mirrored back to us. And that mirror can feel unforgiving.
It’s normal to wonder:
- Was I wrong to believe in my last relationship?
- Why did they get it right, and I didn’t?
- Am I somehow unlovable or destined to be alone?
These are painful, vulnerable thoughts. But they are also invitations — to slow down, to breathe, and to treat ourselves with deep compassion.
How to Cope When Attending Weddings After Heartbreak
If you’ve said yes to a wedding invitation but are dreading how it might feel, here are a few gentle ways to support yourself:
1. Be honest about where you’re at.
You don’t have to pretend you’re fine. Give yourself permission to feel the ache. Suppressing it often makes it louder. Naming what you’re feeling — grief, longing, jealousy — allows space for compassion to enter.
2. Take breaks during the event.
If emotions come up, excuse yourself. Step outside. Breathe. Listen to a grounding song or journal a quick note in your phone. You’re allowed to tend to yourself in the middle of someone else’s celebration.
3. Reframe your self-talk.
If your inner voice starts saying things like, “They have what I’ll never have,” or “I failed at love,” — gently interrupt it. Try instead:
“I’m grieving something that mattered deeply.”
“This pain is a sign of how much I care.”
“I am still capable of love — and I’m learning how to choose it wisely.”
4. Plan support before and after.
Line up a phone call with a trusted friend before or after the event. Make space the next morning to rest or decompress. You don’t have to go through this alone or pretend it’s no big deal.
5. Let the wedding be what it is — not a verdict on your worth.
This isn’t about you being behind. Or broken. Or less-than.
It’s about someone else beginning their journey, and you being in a chapter of healing. Both are valid. Both are part of life. You’re not late. You’re exactly where you need to be.
One Last Thing…
If weddings make you feel jaded or skeptical, that’s okay too. Sometimes the wisdom you’ve gained through heartbreak shows up as a little armor. But beneath that armor is someone who still longs for love — real, honest, grounded love.
You’re not too much.
You didn’t mess it all up.
And you don’t need to rush your healing just because someone else is throwing a bouquet.
Let this season be a reminder that your story is still unfolding — and it doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
Written with care by Molly A. Summers, P.C.C. — Life Coach & Author
📌 coachingwithmollysummers.com
About Molly A. Summers, P.C.C.
Molly Summers is a professional certified life coach and author who helps people understand their attachment styles and build secure, steady love — in relationships, family, and life. After navigating her own journey through loss, unhealthy relationships, and big life transitions, Molly now guides others to calm anxious patterns, strengthen self-trust, and feel safe being fully themselves. All of her coaching is virtual and begins with a free, no-pressure conversation.
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