Value Yourself and Have Self Worth

To Value, Yourself, Have Self Worth

and

Allow Yourself to Have Feelings,

And Make Mistakes

 ~Molly Anne Summers, P.C.C,

As a life coach, I have found that one fundamental thing applies to everyone: We all want to be seen and matter. Unfortunately, even if we matter to others, we won’t realize it until we value ourselves.

I have had a client tell me they feel they have self-worth.  Yet, this client continuously seeks outside validation.   

What do I mean by “Value Ourselves and Have Self Worth?”  Valuing yourself and self-worth are related concepts but have distinct meanings:

1. Valuing Yourself: This refers to recognizing and appreciating your qualities, abilities, and contributions. It involves self-acceptance and understanding your strengths and weaknesses. Valuing yourself means treating yourself with kindness and prioritizing your needs and well-being.

2. Self-worth is a deeper, intrinsic belief in one's inherent value as a person. It often reflects one's beliefs about deserving happiness, love, and respect, regardless of external achievements or opinions. Self-worth is not contingent on success or the approval of others; rather, it is a recognition that one has value just by being who one is.

 Both concepts are crucial for mental and emotional well-being. Building self-worth often involves developing self-acceptance and recognizing your value. Fostering a positive self-image can help improve your overall self-esteem and lead to healthier relationships with yourself and others. Self-value is when we realize we are worthy of having the behavior of being good, compassionate, and respectful to be given to us in return.

So, how can we begin to have self-worth and value ourselves? 

First, permit yourself to have feelings.

·      Sometimes, we may be with someone, and an emotion is triggered.  Instead of pushing that emotion aside and feeling guilty for having that emotion, look at it. 

·      What are you feeling?  Why are you feeling that emotion? 

·      Perhaps when you were young and at a developmental age, you were disappointed by a parent or someone you admired.

·      There may be behavior with the person you are now with that is similar and triggers the emotion trapped within you at a young age. 

·      We all have emotions and a reason for those emotions arising.

·      You may not need to act on the emotion; look at it and understand your feelings and why.

·      If you do not acknowledge your emotions and permit yourself to have them, you will feel you don’t deserve them. 

·      Part of receiving compassion is knowing we deserve compassion, thereby giving ourselves compassion.

Second, don’t beat yourself up when you mess up.

·      We all mess up. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.

·      Again, look at what happened and why it happened. Then, permit yourself to try again with the newfound knowledge.

·      Allow yourself to live according to your values, not others’ expectations.

We expect so much more of ourselves than we do of others.  Permit yourself to be accepted for yourself and all your humanness.